desperately seeking inspiration

I hesitate to begin this blog during such a slump. What began as a convenient amount of time off after quitting my previous *draining* job has become a period of anxiety as my prospective job pool seems to be shrinking, rapidly. My expected time off was to be the month of June, which has not yet ended, but I am terrified. I have never allowed myself the luxury of "time off" and I fear the worst.

But I was supposed to be talking about knitting, right? right... So...This time off began with high hopes of productivity and relaxation...and it has been, but without new prospects I'm hitting a wall. This has unfortunately bled into my world of knitting, which is usually my solace.

I tore through my first sweater project, the Hourglass Sweater, in a week's time. To be followed by the Brea bag, which disappeared in subsequent record time, only to be followed by...nothing. I keep picking up yarn and changing my mind, settling on a project only to lose my needles or to have the incorrect yarn or to fail to find the pattern. I am genuinely lost.

For example: I bought the long coveted hand painted Misti Alpaca lace yarn only to realize the project i began would not serve it well and tore to the library to find the Interweave Knits Fall 04 for my second choice pattern only to find it missing. I began socks and realized I'd lost my dpns of appropriate size. What next? I am surrounded by knitting books, yarn and needles and can find nothing to knit!?

Sadly I am too broke to visit Webs, my eternal knitting mecca. I suspect I am left to the dreaded finishing work of my later projects, as i scour the paper/craigslist/etc for adequate employment. Wish me luck..